Posted by: Terri Johnston Fraracci | April 15, 2016

Internet addiction: attempting to fill the hole with cyber connection

The internet is fantastic! It seems that the whole world is at your fingertips. You have cyber news, cyber entertainment, cyber games, cyber work, and cyber friends. It appears to be the ultimate in connection. But can it fill the hole inside of you? Or is it just the most recent failed attempt to make the true connection we seek from birth.

We are born with a hole in our soul. Something is missing and we can spend a lifetime trying to find it. The standard ways of filling up include addictions such as alcoholism, sex, food, perfectionism, adrenaline rushes, and busyness. We have learned that none of those avenues quell the gnawing need, but instead create more problems as the need is never satisfied no matter how much you shovel in. The hole is never full.

The latest, ever-growing addiction is the Internet. Hours and hours are spent “connecting”. Fingers become numb, eyes are bleary, and shoulders ache as we stubbornly continue to try to hush that open, echoing cavern by filling it to the top any way we can. We eventually figure out that this isn’t working any better than the old methods, but by then we are hooked and the hole remains empty.

It is so ironic, but the truth is, that abused, the internet connection actually creates more separation. Any addiction will do that as it becomes your master, but this latest problem is even more difficult because it feels like you are connected to everyone. You are not. The truth is that while you are busy filling the hole with cyberspace, you are oblivious to real opportunities outside of your concentrated line of vision. As time goes by, they will fall away, one by one; leaving you with a screen, a keyboard, and a loneliness that doesn’t make sense to you because you are hooked up, aren’t you?

From the dawn of time people have tried to fill the hole any way they can; and most have failed miserably. Today is no different. Misuse of the Internet is simply the latest way of unsuccessfully trying to seal the hole by creating the illusion that you are connected to the world.

You are not connected if the Internet comes before your Higher Power.

You are not connected if checking Facebook keeps you from listening to your child.

You are not connected if you find yourself uttering the words “just a minute” on a regular basis to your spouse, child, friends, or any real live person in the room.

The Internet is fantastic. Used responsibly; it can be fun, entertaining, informative, and useful. But it is not a successful tool for filling the hole. If anything, using it as such will create an even wider chasm between you and the very real connection you seek.



internet addiction

It is so ironic, but the truth is, that abused, the internet connection actually creates more separation.

Real connection happens between you and your higher power.

Real connection happens between you and your family.

Real connection comes to life when you are totally open, present, and unencumbered by the endless seeking for something that has been there the whole time.

When you make and keep those connections first and foremost, you can put your shovel down because the hole will be full.


*Take a moment to view the short, eye-opening video below:



*You will find some good tips for recognizing and solving Internet addiction issues here.



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