Posted by: Terri Johnston Fraracci | October 5, 2011

Law of attraction not working for you? Some thoughts as to why:

The law of attraction suggests that what you think about most is what you draw to yourself. So if your thinking is mired in fear, expectation, and negativity, you set off a vicious cycle that begins with your own thought. But if your thinking tends to be based in the positive, all the good gifts of the universe will be helplessly attracted to you, also beginning with your own thought.
If that is true, then it is no wonder negative people appear to be trapped in that mindset no matter how many gifts come their way. What they put out there is what they get back, and what they expect is what they receive, further convincing them that their belief that life is nothing but disappointment, inconvenience, & suffering is true. Expecting things to go wrong is now a firmly ingrained habit.
If the theory holds true in the positive as well, then it is also no wonder that positive people appear to have the world by the tail, no matter how many challenges come their way. What they put out there is what they get back, and what they expect is what they receive, further convincing them that their belief that their life is the result of what they put out there. Expecting to experience good is now a firmly ingrained habit.
But something is not quite right here. The way I see it, life presents both positive and negative experiences to all of us, the difference being in the way those experiences are perceived. It isn’t so much a matter of what you draw to yourself, as it is how you see it. If you believe that life is something you must get through, you will be focused on the negative to a point that the positive escapes you. If you believe that life is a bed of roses, you will be in denial, and miss some of the most powerful lessons there are in, yes, the “negative” experiences.
What would happen if you believed that life operates on its own terms, and that you are only in control of you? What if you had no expectation that everything should go right all the time, and that when stuff happens you are somehow being wronged? What would happen if you accepted that there is a lesson for you in the negative experiences, and gifts for you in the positive? Better yet, that the lessons in the negative were gifts as well? How would you view life then? How would your thought impact your experience?
Maybe it isn’t so much about a law of attraction as it is a law of perception; what you see is what you get. Maybe you are not responsible at all for what you bring to yourself, but rather only responsible for how you see it, and what you do with it. Maybe the people you see who seem to be both excited about, and contented with their life, who seem to bounce back, seem to not be dragged down by circumstance, simply see it through the eyes of acceptance, gratitude, and wonder, and choose to embrace the positive with joy, and the negative for the opportunity for growth.

The law of attraction suggests that you can control your life with your thought. I don’t think that is quite right. I finally figured out what bothers me about this so-called life law.  It’s the idea that you can get what you want if you live the theory. It’s the idea that you can manipulate life with your thought. It’s the idea that life is about getting what you want. I don’t think it is. It’s also the idea that if something bad happens to you, that it’s your fault because you attracted it.

Life does what it does, regardless of what you think. You simply can’t control life. And lets face it, if you are operating from the law of attraction, you are hoping to get what you want, from money to smooth sailing to love to success, to whatever your idea of a good life is, you are hoping to attract what you think will make you happy to yourself. What you can control with your thought is how you perceive, act within, and react to your life. You can always choose your perspective.

I have to admit that although I felt that there was something to the theory, that I never fully believed in the law of attraction. I do believe that you should put the good stuff out there because it does make a difference in the lives of others, and it does multiply, and it does come back to you tenfold, miraculously enhancing your life experience. But I don’t think that the results of sharing the good is the law of attraction as much as it is an amazing tool from God to help us help each other travel this journey we call life.

Law of attraction not working for you? Consider the possibility that you are still trying to control life by hoping to attract what you want. Consider the possibility that the reason for putting the good stuff out there is not to get what you want, but to contribute. Consider the possibility that the law of attraction doesn’t work because the theory is flawed, and that the law of perception just might be the way to go.

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Responses

  1. I have to admit this is a hard one for me in that I am a positive person and my hubs is negative. At one point I started falling down his hole…I climbed out and wishing he would follow me too…but he comes from a negatively driven mother and hence, I have work to do.

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    • Hi Gina,
      Thanks for your thoughts. It is hard to stay positive around a negative person. I have learned that all you can do is you. Someday he may grasp what you have because you continue to model it. In the meantime you don’t go down cause your focus is what you can control – you! Just some thoughts. Happy to “see” you :).

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  2. I love your insights on the law of attraction.

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