Posted by: Terri Johnston Fraracci | August 18, 2011

All Aboard: Riding the train going nowhere

All Aboard

I left without leaving

I do it so well

I simply disappeared

Down deep into myself

With a little help from my

friend/enemy

It’s a journey I take often

Though I’ve yet to find out why

I only know I have to go

To stay

I return with an armful of shame

Trailing confusion from under my feet

Righting myself

I swear off these trips

Knowing my suitcase is packed

All tickets reserved in advance

Pain will point me through the gate

Need will make me get on

I’ll board the train to nowhere again

Only to come full circle

After another fruitless ride

Around the rim of my anger

Poem written: 1995

By the grace of God, one day at a time,

Poet’s most recent ride: 1996

*If you are riding the train to nowhere and want to get off, help is available:

  1. Alcoholics Anonymous website
  2. Narcotics Anonymous website
  3. Celebrate Recovery website

 

another day is a gift

 

 

 

 

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.” ~ Anne Lamott

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Responses

  1. Terri,
    did you write this during a difficult time? It doesn’t seem like you. Life just pushes us sometimes from one place to the next. I’ve always told my children that God has a plan for us and if we won’t go quietly, he’ll take us kicking and screaming, so it’s best to flow with the rthyms of life where we can. I love your writing and see from this how it’s a great expression of your life journey.
    Love,
    Eileen

    Like

  2. Thank you Eileen 🙂 <3. Yes I did. It was definitely the me I was at that time, which makes it part of all of who I am today, as you obviously realize, knowing what I write about now. Perceptive! I wrote this about a year before I finally got clean and sober. Still amazed at God's grace!

    Like

  3. i am not sober- trying to get off Adderall that i have been taking for 22 years– i wonder if i should get off of it– i know in my heart though it is dragging me down- but weening off of it is also dragging me down (worse)
    GREAT POEM – i am in the place now!

    Like

    • Hi again Michelle,
      I don’t know much about Adderall addiction as alcohol was my drug of choice. What I do know is that drinking made both depression and how I viewed life worse. I have been sober for over 15 years now and it makes all the difference in the world! I’m glad you relate to the poem. Maybe you could get some help to get off of the adderall? You are in my prayers.

      Like

  4. Terri I love the way you write.. The way you dispell the negativity in your life and turn into a beautifull work of art that this is… 15yrs eh? Great!!

    Like


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